One percent of students entered my medical school class as parents. I am frequently questioned about why I chose to be married and start a family at a young age. I have unfortunately had reactions from colleagues and attendings implying that parenthood will negatively affect my career aspirations. Like many non-traditional students, I was on the path to becoming a parent well before I had ambitions in medicine, and I strongly support the mantra that the rest of your life can't stop for the pursuit of a career in medicine.

To those in a situation similar to my own, there is no reason you can't excel in medical school. Being a parent forces me to set boundaries on the time I dedicate toward studying. At the end of the day, ensuring time is set aside for my family allows me to live a more balanced life and prevents burn out. There are certainly sacrifices associated with being a parent in medical school. Long days on clerkships and time spent studying for exams can be as taxing on a significant other and children as they are on yourself. You may miss the occasional celebration with classmates and limiting extracurricular activities may be necessary for the overall health of your family. Finding the appropriate balance between family and career is difficult and requires constant adaptation. While this balance is tough to obtain, it can be incredibly energizing to spend the end of a hard day in the company of my kids. Those moments often allow me to slow down and reflect on the impact I was able to make towards patient care and help me reset my perspective to put my best foot forward for the next day.

To classmates and mentors of students with families, we truly appreciate even the smallest gestures of support. Some of my most valued relationships in medical school have been with those who simply ask how my family is doing during our regular conversations. There were days early in school when someone would pull me aside and mention that they noticed something might be wrong. This was typically after a long stretch of nights spent studying far too late. It helped me realize that I needed time with family and a moment away from medicine as a means of resetting myself. Occasionally I would connect particularly well with a resident, fellow, or attending over raising kids and quickly found I could confide in them in ways I couldn't quite do with my peers. The individuals who looked out for me and valued the well-being of myself and my family are people I cherish. If you are presented the opportunity to acknowledge someone struggling to adapt to the unique difficulties that come with being a medical student and parent, try and take a moment to connect with that person. Even if we may not be open to sharing much, your basic acts of compassion will not go unappreciated.

To admissions committees and program directors, please do not underestimate the dedication it takes to balance raising a family while learning the art of medicine. This group of individuals is perhaps some of the hardest working you'll meet. We often have many people relying on our success and are driven not only by our own motivations for a career in medicine, but also by the desire to improve the lives of our families. We also have a unique ability to connect with patients through our mutual experiences as parents. On many occasions a difficult day for one of my patients has ended with us talking about what they value most in life. Frequently this is the memories they've made and the time spent with their families. Finally, we come from very diverse backgrounds and have a breadth of life experiences. Sometimes medicine is a complete shift in careers. Sometimes we simply chose to start our education later than most. Whatever the journey to becoming a physician, more diverse experiences provide unique perspectives that can be beneficial to a student body or residency program.

While it's important to be thoughtful when considering the optimal time to have children, starting in medical school or beforehand is far from impossible. It takes a strategic approach to balance the requirements of being a parent and a student, and a supportive partner certainly makes the process easier. I firmly believe my family makes me a better student and will make me a better physician. For anyone aspiring to follow suit I would encourage you to not let your drive and passion for becoming a doctor hold you back from experiencing the joys of parenthood.

Kaleb Foster, BS, is a medical student at the Lewis Katz School of Medicine at Temple University.